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Ministries Unlimited Thought For The Week (#20)

The Power Of A Conversation

Every day we communicate with others by talking, texting, or emailing. Yet, are we having meaningful conversations with them? The answer may lie in how well we listen, whether we are willing to have difficult conversations, and how well we try to understand one another.

I think back to when my son was little. Conversations with your children are sometimes frustrating at the time. As one friend told me, “There is no reasoning with a 2-year-old”. She was correct. Their brain hasn’t developed reasoning skills yet. Yet I still kept talking with my son and teaching him to communicate with me.

The car rides turned into some of our best heart-to-heart conversations.

I love my son with all my heart. He is the greatest joy of my life. Yet, he has taken roads in his life that I would never want for any child.

Yet through all of his trials, the one consistency was communication. I am thankful that he feels comfortable enough to express joy, anger, and uncertainty with me. Earlier this year he described his life as nothing but darkness, betrayal, and death. Wow!

This made me reflect on his life and what we have been talking about lately. He often tells me my advice is from the 1940’s. He may have a point about some things, but I believe the fundamentals of life haven't changed as much as the world around us. Respect, honesty, responsibility, and treating others with kindness still matter. How we apply those values may change, but their importance doesn't.

I have noticed that many of the podcasts and books he listens to explore and are rooted in faith. Perhaps these conversations are part of his own journey. I pray that he continues to ask questions, explore what he believes, and find the faith that will sustain him.

Conversations with your family can be difficult depending on the person. The same can be said about your friends, co-workers, neighbors, and anyone you interact with.

I believe the most difficult conversations are those in which we want to help someone but worry that our words will hurt them. Advice can feel like criticism, even when it comes from a place of love. I sometimes take days, weeks, or even months to start a difficult conversation. I call it ‘testing the water.’

Just like taking a bath, you test the water before jumping in. You want it to be just right, so the person is more receptive to the conversation. Don’t get me wrong, I have waded into the water thinking everything is okay only to find that there was a hot spring in the middle!

That doesn’t mean the conversation should be avoided. Sometimes, it needs to be delayed to allow time for thought and processing, but we should return to it as soon as possible. Listen to what the other person is saying. If it’s someone you are close to, you know how to listen to the emotion in their voice. Consider their feelings before responding and be compassionate. Sometimes thinking about how you would react in the same situation will help you through any difficult areas.

We often have what is called a knee-jerk reaction to comments, especially when they come from someone who knows your trigger points. The advice of count to 10 before you speak takes on a new meaning, especially as we age!

In our youth, we count very quickly and still react emotionally. As we get older, we begin to realize the wisdom in being slow to respond. As a friend has told me several times, “ That is why God gave us two ears and one mouth because we should listen twice as much as we talk”. This takes patience and practice, but truly listening to the other person can deepen the relationship.

Proverbs 27:6 (NLT) says, “Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy”. Although honest conversations can sometimes leave a wound, they can also help us heal a relationship. There is power in the words we use. I have been on the receiving end of conversations that have left deep wounds, been hurtful to hear, and those that made me a better person.

Use your words wisely. Communicate honestly and with love.

I recently read this quote by an unknown author. “Your journey is not the same as mine, and my journey is not yours. But if you meet me on a certain path, may we encourage each other.”

Through grace, may we all learn to understand that every person has a different journey. May God grace us with the words, the wisdom, and the compassion to have those powerful conversations.